"You must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart instead."

I haven't written in a while. I'm not sure why. Anyway, yesterday, I started to read "Eat, Pray, Love". I bought the book a few years back, but never got around to reading it. When I went to see "Inception" they played the trailer for the upcoming movie with Julia Roberts and I sat in awe. I didn't know what it was about... and just watching the trailer made me tear up. Obviously, I'm not going through a divorce, but I couldn't help but feel the same way. Like my life isn't what I want it to be... what it should be and why shouldn't it be? I shouldn't be forced to live a life that people think is "acceptable" what you're "suppose to be doing". I hold the paint brush, not anyone else. Sometimes I have a problem with just that. I tend to do what I'm "suppose to", what everyone think I should be doing, living my life for everyone else, making sure everyone else can breathe easy. It shouldn't matter what people think of my decisions. They're mine. Right, wrong, whatever. Maybe they're not the right decisions for everybody. Maybe I will make some mistakes... but they're mine to make. I'm tired of living my life in a box. I want to color outside the lines. I don't want to connect the dots. I want to draw my own picture without dots or color by number. I want to splatter the paint! I don't want a bit of my canvas untouched!

I have an appointment with a Talent Management Wednesday for commercials, tv, and film. I'm still perservering that aspect of my life. I never want to stop. I do have other dreams and ambitions though. I want a lot of things. Maybe that's greedy... maybe that's selfish... but ya know what... it's my canvas.