Tomorrow will be the 6 month mark. Half of 2010 has already passed. It's been quite an interesting year already to say the least. It may appear on the surface I haven't accomplished much... but looking at the person I was a year ago, even 6 months ago is a very different person. I learned a lot... I learned about others, myself, what I truly want, where I'm headed, and what I need to change to grasp everything I want. I use to think maybe you couldn't have it all. Love, a career, a family, and just being completely happy. I take that back. I think it is possible... it's just not the Disney "Happily Ever After". There isn't a time line. When I was little, I thought you had to have it all by 25. A career, married, kids, and a big white bow tying it all up into one. It doesn't work that way. I don't need to have it all figured out right now. I don't need to be married or have the career or the family (and thank God because I'd be MAJORLY behind). I can't keep beating myself up for mistakes or things that have happened. Not that I ever regret anything (because I don't believe in regrets) but I do get down on myself for where I am currently in life.
In these 6 months, I've learned so much. I finally grasped that this is my life. I don't need to have it all at this second. So what I don't have the killer career I want just yet... it will happen. Yes, I want a family... but I'm not ready... and that's ok, because it will happen. I am a good person and people have taken advantage of that... but I've cut a lot of poison out of my life and made some major life changing decisions recently. This is MY life... so why am I so worried about disappointing everyone else? Why do I waste my entire being, soul, and everything I have inside me on making everyone else happy? Who's making me happy? Who's looking out for what I want? Who's chasing my dreams?
This is my life. My world. I can do and have anything I want. Nobody's stopping me except myself. There's so many things I want to do, see, experience, conquer in this world and I deserve that. So if my life didn't/doesn't pan out the way I thought it would when I was five, that's ok. I had always dreamed as a kid I would grow up and marry Prince William and become Her Royal Highness Princess Makayla Tara Bishop of Wales. :-) Things change... dreams change... but everything I TRULY want in life is within my grasp. So I made a life changing decision and I'm going for it all! Because I deserve it all. These next 6 months of 2010 are full on! There's no looking back! The past is staying right where it is... in the past. The future... well, that's all mine and nobody can take that away. I've got 6 months to make it happen... and I will!
No comments:
Post a Comment